Weekend linkage // 7QT #3

Linked up with Conversion Diary's Seven Quick Takes.

1)

::Jared is holding Ellie and she is wiggling all over the place::

"Ellie, you are like a good IPA . . . a thick head and very hoppy."

2)

We have toofers! Ellie's two bottom incisors popped up this past week. And are they ever SHARP. We also have a jumper. She's very excited about it. The funny thing is, sometimes you put her in and she starts fussing, but as she kicks her feet in frustration she begins to bounce up and down . . . and then, thoroughly distracted, she forgets about being sad. 

 

What we do not have: a full night's sleep.

3)

The value of daily rituals. "If we make prayer a habit before we go to bed, hopefully we will come to need that ritual simply by the fact that it is what we have always done. I think of that often, and am learning to consider what habits to build in our new home so that in ten years, we will still be holding onto them dearly. Daily rituals are those that we do over and over again, but that provide us with a new glimpse into the world and the lives around us."

4)

Here's an interesting article on the effects of ADHD medicines on the "sports gene."

Along the same lines-- medicating children's personalities for the sake of uniformity-- "School Has Become Hostile to Boys." As if I needed another reason to homeschool. 

 
5)

Beautiful and true thoughts on committed love. "Before you can make high towers, it’s best to build a good strong base. It comes from laughter, empathy, forgiveness, accepting the other person’s struggle, and knowing yourself. But sometimes . . . Things get shaky and start to wobble. There is always a way to rebuild if you’re willing."

summer tabbouleh salad

When gluten's off the table, so is traditional tabbouleh, made with cracked wheat (bulgur) and a medley of gorgeous summer vegetables. Luckily, quinoa is a good understudy for bulgur, so this peppy salad ended up on our table. Jared liked it and I bet you will too. It makes great leftovers, and if you toss in some leftover grilled chicken, you've got a complete lunch.

And I still have too many grape tomatoes. They would make cute sundried tomatoes if I had a dehydrating setup. Maybe I should learn to can? Nah, too lazy. I'll just keep popping them like candy.

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Quinoa Tabbouleh Salad
(based on a recipe from The Way the Cookie Crumbles)

1 1/2 cups uncooked quinoa
1 3/4 cups chicken or vegetable broth
2 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 red onion, minced
1/2 large cucumber, peeled and diced
1 small green bell pepper, seeded and diced
2-3 cups halved cherry or grape tomatoes
1 small bunch parsley, roughly chopped
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese (more if desired)
3 tablespoons lemon juice
additional salt and pepper to taste

1) Pour quinoa into a bowl or large glass measuring cup and cover with water. Soak for 30 to 60 minutes; drain water. Rinse thoroughly until quinoa no longer tastes bitter.
2) Bring rinsed quinoa, chicken broth, water, olive oil, and salt to boil in small pot. Reduce heat to low and cover pot. Simmer for 20 minutes, then turn off heat and let quinoa sit for 10 minutes.
3) Remove pot lid and fluff quinoa with fork. Let cool for an hour.
4) In large mixing bowl stir together cooled quinoa, vegetables, parsley, and feta cheese. Add lemon juice and any additional seasonings, and stir to combine. Serve at room temperature.

Shared on Simple Lives Thursday

labeling. boo.

When I meet someone new, one question is bound to come up: "So what do you do?" The answer shapes my perception of that person, but often in inaccurate and unhelpful ways. For example: if someone says that he is a cashier at the dollar store I mentally stick him into my "not a potential friend" category. Ashamed to admit that, but it's true. I have only started to realize that in the past couple of years.

I think it is an unfortunate component of human nature to label people. Personally, by making assumptions according to stereotypes, I have missed out on a lot. More than once the cashier has turned out to be a thoughtful lover of Robert Frost. And I found myself saying, oh . . . you're not what I thought!

I want to be known for my whole self. I am not "just" a mother or a teacher or a conservative or anything else. I am a person. That's a complicated thing to be.

If you ask me what I do, I could say that I'm a stay at home mom, but that doesn't tell you much; it doesn't describe how I actually spend my time. It doesn't tell you that I read big books, plant nasturtiums in the spring, listen to sermons while I wash the dishes, or make a mean Greek salad. That I teach kids all over the country how to write. That I have this blog. Asking such a narrow question does not tell you who I am. 

Let's start looking at the person, not the label. It takes longer and it requires more thought, but won't it be worthwhile?

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Honestly, I wish that the question of employment wasn't be so central to an American's identity. By introducing ourselves as "an engineer" or "a librarian" we imply that our job is all we ever do and that without it, our central selves would disappear. Which is not the case for me. My life is made up of many, many things, a large percentage of which-- perhaps, in the end, the most significant percentage-- does not involve a job title or any kind of financial remuneration.

I imagine it's the same for most of us.

how I do something about it

Mother and Sara by Mary Cassatt

A lot of the problems I see around me come down to cultural issues. While activists often try to solve them politically, I think that for things to change, people have to start believing differently.

Take abortion. I'm all for legally banning it, but the real problem does not lie in our laws: it lies in a culture that says children are a fashion accessory or a burden rather than a marvelous gift, and that we have the right to eliminate any perceived inconvenience from our lives, including another human life. Outlawing abortion will not alter those flawed basic beliefs. I think the real solution to abortion is to change how people view babies, and to change their selfishness to selflessness.

That's not something you can do in the political realm. It is something you do in daily life, as you gently live out the truth. It is ultimately, of course, something that God does; we are just little instruments.

I always want to do something about the wrongs I see. Perhaps I can, and perhaps it's less spectacular than I assume it must be.

"Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another . . . But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders." (1 Thessalonians 4)

I like that. "Aspire to live quietly and to mind your own affairs." That doesn't mean that you can stick your head in the sand, ignore your neighbors, and pretend that America is the Garden of Eden. It does mean, though, that we're not all called to be William Wilberforce.

What am I called to, then? Well, I think that having a baby, welcoming it into the family no matter the circumstances, loving it whole-heartedly, sacrificing to make its life better, and-- gasp!-- being willing to have more children and do the same for them, is a significant weapon in the battle against the prevailing culture of death.

By witnessing to the value of new life, you're showing your neighbors that there is another way to look at humans. You're telling everyone that no, there aren't too many of us, and that giving birth should be cause for celebration, not eco-guilt. By going against the prevailing tide of self-absorption, you're opening opportunities to tell them about the love of God that transformed your heart.

I'm not a political activist, and I don't have the ability right now to volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center or to adopt. But I am doing something about this problem. I am living . . . with this tiny person always in tow.

two thoughts that helped to keep me semi-sane during the first month of motherhood

Sure, she's sleeping now. . .

#1 God knows how much sleep you need.

Sleeping was really hard at first. I would get into bed (sometimes with Ellie beside me, sometimes with her in the nursery) and try desperately to relax. My mind wouldn't cooperate: I couldn't stop thinking and planning and wondering. Will she wake up? Will nursing ever not hurt? Did I put the laundry in the dryer? Why can't I fall asleep? She's going to wake up soon! If I don't go to sleep right now I'll be a wreck tomorrow! Bedtime was more stressful than restful.

After a while, though, I realized that every morning when I woke up, I felt okay. I could face that day. Even if Ellie had cried for an hour in the middle of the night-- which, thank God, didn't happen very often-- I was able to take care of her and not fall over in exhaustion. When I went to bed, then, I could trust the Lord to give me enough sleep.

So instead of freaking out about not sleeping, I started to think, I don't have to worry. Ellie might be fussing now, but she will sleep eventually . . . it will be better in the morning. Even if I can't fall asleep right away, I can lie here and rest. That will be good too.

 Don't you know, I fell asleep faster.

Magnesium also helped. :)

In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:8

Look at those skinny legs!

#2 When your baby is crying, she is sad.

In other words, she is not being "bad." You don't have to worry about spoiling her, because she only wants to be fed, kept warm, and cuddled. Pick her up and love her.

When Ellie would scrunch up her face and wail at the top of her lungs, it helped a lot to remember that she simply needed me. I didn't get angry at her, because I knew that she was not trying to get on my nerves. When I thought of her crying as an expression of sadness, rather than as a pointless irritation, it helped me to be compassionate towards my baby.

Sometimes we let her cry in her crib now because we can tell the difference between "I am annoyed and need to go to sleep" and "oh help I'm scared and need to be held!" When she was really little, though, she didn't know how to fuss herself to sleep, so crying was pretty much a distress signal to be answered immediately.

Weekend linkage

"Businesses don't charge you a fee to pay online, because it's less work for them. The government does charge you a fee to pay online, because they're stupid."
-Jared paying bills

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Life with Ellie: She keeps learning things that are alternately adorable and maddening. One, how to grab-- her blankets, my hair, Jared's salad bowl. Sometimes she even gets a grasp on her feet, which is just too cute.

Two, how to roll over at will-- it's no longer an accident, and she does it constantly. She has been flipping onto her back (and thus waking herself up) two or three times every night. Again, super cute but not my favorite thing just past midnight.

I'm grateful that older and wiser moms told me not to get too attached to my baby's schedule. Having her sleep for 10 hours straight was delightful, but I didn't really expect it to last forever. Babies be babies. And there's always coffee.

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This is a beautiful reflection on a difficult yet gracious marriage. "We thank God for the years of settling in to a deep and abiding love through huge mistakes, hurtful arguments, angry comments, putting off forgiving each other, apathetic stretches, and lulls between moments of kissing each other like we really mean it and don't have something better to do."

Look at your baby, not at the charts. Use that mama sense! If you have a skinny baby like I do, this might be encouraging to you. :)

Have we reached peak beard? This is funny.

I wish more people would realize this: saying "just wait" in a menacing tone is not not not helpful to young mothers.

More on marriage-- lovely story of two widowers finding one another.