People Are Hard Work

I'm still dealing with severe vertigo, including a lack of concentration, constant dizziness, and some hearing loss. It isn't much fun. One of the most difficult consequences of vertigo, I think, is how much energy conversations now require. And it's not just the words you are saying at the moment. You have to remember what a person is like, and consider what you talked about last time, and pay attention to your surroundings all at once.

It becomes overwhelming.

Conversations usually don't take this much work.

But then I thought about it a little more, and realized that with or without vertigo, people DO require energy. I have a habit of relegating certain people to the back corners of my mind, either labeling them out of laziness ("well, he's that sort of guy, so he'd probably think such and such") or not paying attention at all. But a human being is a more complex creature of body, soul, mind, imagination, and emotion. Such a wondrous creation deserves more careful attention than I am willing to give, as I rush on with my busy little life without giving a second glance.

I have to devote my entire mind to a conversation right now, or I'll lose the thread permanently. Maybe I should continue that habit after the vertigo is gone, too; I have been blessed with a multiple-track mind, and it often allows me to do many things at once, and do them well. Nevertheless, I should not use that as an excuse. Sometimes I will be talking to someone, surfing the web, and editing a paper all at the same time. And it doesn't turn out very well at all.