you don't have to, but you do.

In his wisdom, God has crafted a life for us that does not careen from huge, consequential moment to huge, consequential moment. In fact, if you examine your life, you will see that you have actually had few of those moments. You can probably name only two or three life-changing situations you have lived through.

We are all the same; the character and quality of our life is forged in little moments . . . You are daily on the job adding another layer of bricks that will determine the shape of your marriage for days, weeks, and years to come.

-What Did You Expect? by Paul Tripp

If so, the question is how to build those bricks up solid. How do we use our little moments to construct something beautiful, instead of a rickety eyesore?

I think our motive makes all the difference. We could be motivated by anger and selfishness, or a grudging sense of duty. Or we could be motivated by love. Love makes us say, "I don't have to do this for you. But I will, because it is my joy to give you joy." And love creates an atmosphere that we can come home to.

Newly Married by William A. Breakspeare

Jared and I will celebrate our fourth anniversary this week. That's four years of inconsequential moments. Four years of ironing shirts exactly the way he likes them, of packing his lunches in the right container so they microwave evenly. Four years of rubbing my shoulders after I've had a bad day, of filling the gas tank on his way home so I don't need to worry about it the next morning. Four years of doing these things because we wanted to do them.

We didn't have to. But since we loved, we did.

Not always of course. Some days I only wash his clothes because it's my job. I'm sure he has felt the same. Certainly, when it's really hard-- when we're angry and hurt and don't want reconciliation-- it's not a loving feeling but duty that pulls us back together. We made a commitment and our covenant is our bedrock.

Yet over that bedrock, I think that our marriage has flourished through willing love, not cold "responsibility." Here's to four more years of that. And four more after, and four more once again, and four more till death parts us.

We don't have to. But since we love, we will.

Duty makes us do things well, but love makes us do them beautifully.
-Phillips Brooks

prepare ye the way

This morning I read most of the first chapter of Luke; his account of the Nativity is my favorite, and so I'm going back through it these few days before Christmas.

Having grown up in the church and read the Gospels many times over, I'm quite familiar with the details of this narrative. But because it is God's word, of course-- because the Spirit makes it living and active-- it comes into my heart differently every time around.

Today I especially noticed the sense of preparation throughout the chapter. Everyone is busy getting ready. Every single event lines up and links together for the unfolding of this great Providence.

- Gabriel's announcement prepares Zechariah and Elizabeth for John's birth.

- John is destined to prepare a people for God.

- Another visit from Gabriel prepares Mary for her own child, and she herself prepares her heart to bear the Son of God.

- The two women prepare together for their babies' arrival, a pair of arrivals that will change the world forever.

And what I thought today, as I read, was that God is always doing this. Always weaving the world into His plan, either fulfilling His promises, or directly preparing to do so. Though we do not see this pattern fully, we can have absolute faith that it exists and that each moment of our lives is used in it. Nothing hangs free of His order.

As Elizabeth told her young cousin, "Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord."

Weekend linkage // 7QT #17

Linked up with Conversion Diary.

1)

We are all Christmas'd up in here. Tree decorated, Nativity set, wreath on the door, candles-- even snow! And half the presents are wrapped already! I'm one of the die-hards who refuse to turn on the holiday music before December 1st. Now, however, you'll hear it quite a lot. :) We have been especially enjoying Phil Wickham's Christmas album.

2)
 
Ancient city discovered underwater.

3)

Wait But Why tells you how to name your baby. Haha. I am definitely in Category #1. Jared leans toward Category #3, but I lured him over to my side this time 'round.

4)

If you had to take the American Citizenship test, would you pass?

5)

Three thoughtful pieces for when you have time to read. First, "A Non-Religious Case Against Same-Sex Marriage" by Michael Bauman (who is incidentally a prof at Hillsdale GO CHARGERS).

Second, "Kitsch and the Kitchen Sink: Andrew Wyeth and Thomas Kinkade" by Dwight Longenecker.

Third, "On Football, Warrior Culture, and Manhood" by Owen Strachan.

6)

Is the "new and improved" Obamacare really any better? Nope. "Someday, when it comes to the rollout of Obamacare, I will assume that things cannot possibly get worse, and blessedly, I will be right."

a bowl of breakfast. or snack. or whatever.

We have a lot of granola recipes floating around the blog, but this is the most straightforward. It is crunchy, delicious, fairly low in sugar, and high in good fats. Also, if you need to avoid gluten, soy, or dairy . . . voila.

I kind of eat a lot of this.

Because I don't chop up the almonds and like to use large pieces of coconut, the granola ends up with a nice hearty texture. You can stir in some golden raisins or dried cranberries once it cools. I usually keep it simple.

---

Simple Honey Granola
(a spin on this recipe from Shutterbean)

6 cups rolled oats
1 cup unsweetened coconut flakes or chips
1 cup whole almonds
1 cup roughly chopped walnuts*
1 teaspoon cinnamon
scant 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
2/3 cup melted coconut oil
2/3 cup honey

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.
2) Stir together oats, coconut, almonds, walnuts, cinnamon, and salt in large mixing bowl. Add coconut oil and honey, and stir to coat.
3) Spread granola evenly on prepared baking sheet, and bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes; stir gently, then return to oven and bake 10 more minutes, until golden on top. Watch carefully the last five minutes to make sure it does not burn.
4) Let cool and store in airtight container. (This makes quite a bit so I freeze some of it for later.)

*Or chopped pecans or cashews or heck, even plain pumpkin seeds, which are what ended up in the pictured batch.

the right kind of sheltered

We all like to laugh about "sheltered homeschoolers," and homeschoolers probably laugh hardest. Nothing beats a little self-deprecation.

Though a child of the nineties, I never heard "Hit Me Baby One More Time" before my freshman year in college. And I still can't differentiate between 'N Sync and The Backstreet Boys. Truly a homeschooled innocent par excellence (or maybe not: I could pick Luke Skywalker out of a police lineup).

Sure, my cultural ignorance set me up for teasing. But it was worth it. I don't regret "missing out" on the slop served up by Seventeen. More time to read Shakespeare! Not that he's so squeaky clean himself . . . codpieces, anyone?

Emmie and Her Child, Mary Cassatt

Now, although my daughter is only eight months, I spend a lot of time thinking about what she hears and sees. I wonder what I will try to protect her from. And remembering my own experience, well, I don't care if she knows who is topping the charts or if she is "ignorant" about the antics of her generation's starlets.

That kind of sheltering's fine by me.

I do want Ellie to know, though, about the truly important things in the world. We sponsor three children through Covenant Mercies, and I want her to understand why they need help. She needs to realize that many people in Ethiopia, Uganda, and Zambia go hungry. They don't get education or medicine, and they may never hear the Good News.

We will do our best to protect Ellie from experiencing the filth floating around her. Shield her from reality, though? From knowing that the filth exists? No. Creation groans as it waits for deliverance. We won't pretend otherwise. We will hold her hand and introduce life to her slowly, but ultimately we want Ellie to grow up into a woman. Not a girl, but a woman, who can face the dark world without being thrown-- one who has a backbone and a solid anchor in Christ.