forget the ducks. at least for a while.

I love to understand. You might say that I'm obsessive about it.

This girl can't just do things; oh no, I need to know the why and wherefore, preferably with footnotes. Are there reasons? I must find them. Are there quandaries? I must solve them. Should my mental ducks wander out of their row, I bustle about shooing them back into line, and can't sleep until they are quacking in an orderly fashion once more.

image credit: Blossom's Mom

In fact, I approach most of life on such a cerebral slant that I tend to reduce even God to a mere concept: I forget that He is a person. I forget that He invites me into His family.

Huzzah theology! Seriously, it's great stuff. But when the Lord of Hosts figures more as philosophical category than dear Father, something has gone awry. Amid all my study, I want to remember that I won't be spending eternity diagramming the finer points of God's sovereignty, but rather, gazing enraptured into His glory. He is so compassionate and kind. He wants me to rest in His goodness.

So I love this reminder from John Piper's superb book The Pleasures of God. It reminds me that my anxiety over my "ducks" is nothing compared to God's love for me, and that I don't have to line them up in order to enjoy His gifts.

Something hinders the release of wonder. Something confines our affections . . .

Oh, how complex are the obstructions of belief! The way our parents treated us, the cultic curiosities of a grandmother, the deadening force of poverty or wealth, the anesthesia of televised worldliness, the boredom of trivial business, the wilderness of lonely wedlock, the heartbreak of wayward kids, the never-ending ache of arthritic joints, the memories of lovelessness and fragile hope-- how many ways the enemy of our souls can make us fear that the God and Father of Jesus Christ is too good to be true.

But Jesus will not sit by and let us disbelieve without a fight. He takes up the weapon of the Word and speaks it with power for all who struggle to believe: "Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's pleasure to give you the kingdom."

but I have calmed and quieted my soul

Mother and Child, Mary Cassatt

My daughter wants to be with me almost constantly. If she feels out of sorts, comfort only comes from Mama, and she'll raise a ruckus until I come to her rescue. When she's nursing she grabs my shirt and stares up at my face, as if she's making sure that I won't disappear. She needs her mother and is not ashamed to admit it; she loves to look at me, touch me, and smile back at me.

How might my life look if I'd cling to God as tightly as Ellie clings to me?

Life wouldn't look much different, I imagine, as I'd still be going about my daily tasks. But I would be different as I did those things.

If I was that desperate to see God's face . . . if I cried out to Him whenever I felt confused or stressed or afraid . . . if I would, spiritually speaking, regularly climb into His arms and relinquish my burdens?

I think that peace and joy would suffuse my soul anew. While ironing or sweeping or grading papers or trimming my daughter's fingernails, His peace and joy would wrap about my busy mind and give me a hopeful song to sing. I do experience those qualities even now. I just want more. I desire to "pray without ceasing," so that my everyday would be shot through with His presence. That means ceasing to pretend that I have my act together, and admitting that yes, Lord, I need you now and always.

The best part of all this is that I don't need to find a revolutionary new way to experience God. He abides with me already. May my eyes be open and my hand closed tight around His finger . . . as Ellie's is around mine.

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;

my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things

too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother . . .

 

O Israel, hope in the Lord

from this time forth and forevermore.

-Psalm 131

Weekend linkage // 7QT #14

Linked up with Conversion Diary.

1)

J: So that's my idea. Does its logic seem unassailable to you?
Me: Honey, determining the quality of logic is not my strong point.
J: Oh, fine. Does that idea feel good to you?

2)

Ellie figured out how to sit up on her own, and she is also having a lot of fun on her play mat: wiggling in circles on her belly, rolling back and forth, sticking her big diapered bottom up in the air in an attempt to crawl. It's very funny and cute.

It also makes me realize just how much she has grown. Not physically (she's still a shrimp) so much as in her ability-- only seven and a half months ago, she was a sleepy little lump who barely knew how to nurse. Now look at her! Even her voice has changed and sounds "older." I am amazed at how quickly her personality is unfolding, and how much fun she brings to our home.

3)

I adore Improv Everywhere. Carousel races in the park!

4)

Also to make you laugh, animals trying to fit in small spaces.

5)

The 12 most annoying email habits. I don't find some of these as irritating as the author does (some are more applicable to business email than to personal) but for the most part, please, everybody read and apply . . .

6)

I want to live here.

7)

Rambling, history-packed, fascinating article on the dehumanization of public figures, specifically those who occupy a throne: "Royal Bodies." Just a couple of excerpts for you.

A few years ago I saw the Prince of Wales at a public award ceremony. I had never seen him before, and at once I thought: what a beautiful suit! What sublime tailoring! It’s for Shakespeare to penetrate the heart of a prince, and for me to study his cuff buttons. I found it hard to see the man inside the clothes . . . I couldn’t help winding the fabric back onto the bolt and pricing him by the yard.

Popular fiction about the Tudors has also been a form of moral teaching about women’s lives, though what is taught varies with moral fashion. It used to be that Anne Boleyn was a man-stealer who got paid out. Often, now, the lesson is that if Katherine of Aragon had been a bit more foxy, she could have hung on to her husband. Anne as opportunist and sexual predator finds herself recruited to the cause of feminism.

ahoy, discoveries! vol. 13 [staying warm edition]

Shared on Simple Lives Thursday.

Do you enjoy shivering? No? Neither do I. Here area a few of my favorite ways to keep the chill off.

1) Blankets: very important for cuddling. Currently adorning our living room furniture are this fluffy striped one from West Elm and a slightly heavier but very soft one from Target. The Target blanket is big enough for two. :)

2) Little Mouse also has a thick Pottery Barn stroller blanket that keeps her toasty on walks or on the trip from house to car.

3) Eddie Bauer makes perfect down vests; I admit that I've collected more than my fair share over the years. They are obviously warm and well-made, but they also have a nice tailored shape, so you don't look like a walking marshmallow.

4) I own far too many pashmina scarves. I say "too many" because I have nowhere to conveniently store them all, and I only wear a few on a regular basis anyway. My long-standing favorite is from La Purse: the walnut color matches all of my other clothes and the fabric is lovely.

5) Hats! I lurve this one from LL Bean. Its fleece lining really does keep the wind out. Ellie has a striped cap from Under the Nile-- it's soft and stretchy, and I appreciate that it's more substantial than your typical uber-thin jobbers.

6) How about feet? I don't wear slippers, preferring a good pair of warm socks and some wonderfully clunky Danskos. Old lady chic, thank you. My brother brought me wool socks from Ireland when he was across the pond, but if you're not so fortunate as to have a globe-trotting relative these from LL Bean look toasty.

7) I've sung their praises before, but I'll do it again: HALO fleece sleep sacks are perfect for wiggly babies. Ellie would escape from a blanket (or worse, pull it over her head) but she can't Houdini her way out of these.

8) You also want something to warm your insides. Okay, there's always Johnnie Walker . . . but for everyday use how about some delicious Kenyan coffee?

Weekend linkage // 7QT #12

Linked up with Conversion Diary.

1)

"You are my favorite hedgehog."
-J gets his flattery on

2)

Ellie is really into growling and roaring. The other night I put her to bed and she grrrrrr'd at the sheets for about fifteen minutes before falling asleep. A fierce one, this child.

Her favorite toys at the moment are a pith-helmeted Duplo man, the zipper on Mama's sweatshirt, and vitamin bottles (they rattle!).

3)

Fascinating story: the most honored photograph in US military history.


4)

"Strike a Pose": good thoughts from a friend of mine on social media "self-portraits" and the importance of examining our motivations.

5)

Now it's time for funny things!

Putting pop lyrics to classical melodies.

Proof that Plato was really Dumbledore . . . or vice versa.

IKEA or Death, the game that tests your knowledge of IKEA product names and black metal bands. I only scored 12/20, so come on, surely you can beat that.

What would happen if slogan writers were honest. ("Kmart: We Still Exist.")

6)

I've come across several nice Tumblrs in my search for a new Firefox home page: Inspired, Hello Pretty Things, Life Is Beautiful, Grey and Scout, Scattered as My Mother's Pearls, and-- the current winner-- You Make Beautiful Things. I enjoy seeing "beautiful" when I open up the computer.

(What is your home page and why did you choose it?)

7)

Now I leave you with the eternal question, courtesy of Smithsonian. Why were medieval knights always fighting snails?