27 April 2013

Weekend linkage

"That's what daddies are for: to irritate their little girls."
-while tickling his daughter, who does not appreciate this

"Ellie, soon you will be so old you can apply for your NAACP card!"
-Jared gets his abbreviations confused

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Life with Ellie: A lot less like drowning, more like, um, swimming in rough seas where a salty wave smacks you in the face when you aren't expecting it. With no sense of direction, but with a life preserver, and no sharks.

Okay, I'm no good at analogies, but what I mean to say is that things are markedly easier. I have grown so much in my affection for this little baby. At first it was really tough to see beyond the You're crying again? and You're hungry again? and You don't want to be held but you don't want to be laid down? craziness. I felt guilty for not having these overflowing gushes of love towards my daughter. It was like I was looking at a stranger. Keeping her alive, keeping her warm, holding her, trying to "bond"-- but a stranger. Which was accurate. After all, I'd never seen her before. I didn't know who she was, really. How are you supposed to have gushes of love for that?

cutest baby in the history of the world.
And then it changed. One day I realized that I wanted to get her out of her crib. I wanted to look at her chubby cheeks, cuddle her tiny feet in my hand, talk to her, sing to her, give her a bath, watch as she tried to focus on my face, laugh at her slightly cross-eyed expressions. She feels like my daughter now, somebody who belongs with me . . . not a wailing, needy stranger dropped into the middle of my life. I am so glad. And I haven't cried all week.

Most of that has simply been due, I think, to an increasing (still so small and wavering! but increasing!) trust in God during this season. Letting go of my worries and my desire for control is hard but very much worth it. It sort of feels like the beginning of 2012, when I was so tired of fighting for a baby, I had to trust the Lord. Anything else was too exhausting, and He gave me rest. Now I am so tired of fighting to make that baby do what I want, I have to trust Him again, finding peace in His promises.
From of old no one has heard
or perceived by the ear,
no eye has seen a God besides you,
who acts for those who wait for him.
You meet him who joyfully works righteousness,
those who remember you in your ways.
-Isaiah 64:4-5
he's a proud papa.
On the practical front, Ellie is sleeping for long stretches at night (meaning four to six hours between feedings instead of, you know, two). Sometimes she cries for a little while before falling asleep, and sometimes she decides to be social way too early in the morning, but overall she seems to have "day" and "night" figured out. I am awfully proud of her and take zero credit for her accomplishment. All I've done is try to keep her awake a good part of the day.

She also takes a pacifier now (well, not always) and that helps keep her happy. We figure she just gets bored easily and needs something to do while she is awake. It's pretty cute to watch her chomp down so furiously on a silly piece of plastic. :)

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Food art!

ESV? NIV? KJV? Funny cartoon on what your Bible translation says about you. (I guess I'm one of the reformed hipsters.)

Also in the church humor realm, suggested hymns for everyone from the dentist to the electrician. (My favorite is the IRS agent: "I Surrender All.")

Kids weigh in: how do you know whom to marry? Hilarious.

Cool.

I've been making this in the morning except without the corn syrup and Kahlua. Ha. So, basically iced coffee without the added water. It's good.

"Put them on their back to sleep, but don’t let them be on their backs too long or they will be developmentally delayed. Give them a pacifier to reduce SIDS. Be careful about pacifiers because they can cause nursing problems and stop your baby from sleeping soundly. If your baby sleeps too soundly, they’ll die of SIDS." Oh man. This is spot on: how baby advice can drive us insane.

2 comments:

  1. I felt the same way after Clemmie was born: strangely detached and horribly guilty about it. But the bonding got easier with time and now she's most decidedly my favorite daughter :) I'm glad things are going more smoothly for you now! And Ellie is ridiculously cute.

    Love and prayers,
    Anna

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  2. I loved that article too. We've been in the same waters, recently; all of the sudden there is no rhyme or reason to his sleeping and we haven't slept through the night in two weeks. But the daytime (his allergies, fussiness, and pain with teething) are all being managed much better and so we're all a little better. It's a one-day-at-a-time sort of deal. :)

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