Persian edicts and cauliflower

I dislike resolutions. Maybe because they are too lofty for me to keep, and then I just get frustrated when I fail. Or maybe it's just the word: resolution. That sounds so marble-engraved, so legally binding, as if it were an edict of the Medes and the Persians and woe to the one who breaks it. Well acquainted with idealism and its evil twin, discouragement, I hardly need to load myself with more marble. Legalism dogs my steps closely enough already.

Yet I believe that goals are important. A clear vision for my day, not to mention my year, not to mention my life can make such a difference both in attitude and result. Thus, I ponder the upcoming year every January, trying to organize my desires according to what is essential and what is additional. What is God calling me to do? How can I better love and serve Him? How can I better love and serve my husband, my family, my community? Are there things I should stop or start? Then I set some goals, and am delighted when with the Lord's help, I can fulfill them.

So I don't make resolutions. I do try to have a vision. A grace-filled one.

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A couple of weeks ago Jared and I discussed several goals that we have as a couple. How convenient that a new calendar year and a new year of marriage start at the same time; it's a perfect moment to take stock of our lives. In addition to those goals, however, I also have personal desires for the year. Here are mine:

1. Take pictures! What's the use of having a camera if I never use it? Not that I have an excellent camera, but it works fine for simply documenting life, which is what I want to do. I love images and don't want to rely on my memory alone . . . so the camera will get some exercise this year.

2. Read more theology. My soul needs nourishment and I often neglect it. As noted in an earlier post, I have begun nibbling away at Calvin's Institutes. It is wonderful, just four or five pages each morning. Admittedly, I have taken a short detour into Lloyd-Jones' Spiritual Depression, but as the goal was to "read more theology" and not "finish the Institutes in a year," I am fine with that.

3. Banish fear in the kitchen. Last year I learned that bread was not scary, and that yeast is much more friendly than I had assumed. I also conquered yogurt, biscuits, roast chicken, mayonnaise, crepes, and omelets (all things that had terrified me because of their supposed difficulty). So this year I am determined not to shrink back from any flop-prone recipe or unfamiliar ingredient. "Just buy the lemongrass and have at it" shall be my motto.

Speaking of which, I tried two new things last night: pan-seared tuna steaks and spicy Indian cauliflower. I had never intentionally served raw meat before, but being assured that it was the way to do tuna, sear it I did. Success! Well, the tuna was too salty, but at least it wasn't dry. I have more in the freezer (yay seafood sales) so next time I'll use a different sauce. As for the cauliflower . . . ohmygoodness it was the best thing I've put in my mouth for a long time, and it's not like we usually eat banana peels. Making again. Soon.