in which I am not Fate.

I would like everything to be perfect for my daughter. More than that, I want to make everything perfect for my daughter.

Sometimes it seems to me that the course of her entire life rests on my decisions, and that if I mess something up when she's 6 months old she'll still be dealing with the scars at 46. After all, I'm going to be the most important person in her tiny existence . .  so it follows that I bear the responsibility for who she is, what she believes, and how she lives until the end of time. Right?!!

Freakout material right there.

My dad is really good at counteracting this type of thinking. He has often reminded me that God reigns, regardless of the unwise choices we may make or the foolish things we may say. Of course those things matter. But they shouldn't cause us to despair. The fear of mistakes shouldn't deter us from living freely.

(Besides, though parents do indeed shape their children in infinite ways, it's not as if I'm spinning the thread of my daughter's life like all three Fates wrapped up in one. Perhaps overestimating influence is just as dangerous as overestimating it?)

All right. So I'm going to live life. I'm going to love our baby and do what I think is best for her. I'm also going to keep learning, keep thinking, and keep believing that God will be faithful to reveal the truth to me-- and to this child.

Freakout over.

sugar and spice and everything nice.

This picture courtesy of my dad.

"Auntie Hannah laced her tea with rum, because it was only once a year."
-from A Child's Christmas in Wales by Dylan Thomas

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A post dedicated to our edible treats this Christmas.  

Roast Leg of Lamb: not exactly the recipe we used but this one has very similar flavors.
Brussels Sprout Gratin: this, by far, gets my vote for Best Item on the Dinner Table.
Tangy Cranberry Sauce: I didn't have enough orange juice so I put in 1/4 cup lemon juice as well.
Alfajores: again, not quite the recipe we used but it gives you the idea; ours includes lemon zest and calls for rolling the edges in coconut.
Cranberry Bars: I used King Arthur's gluten-free flour and a combination of cranberries and cherries, which was most excellent. These are quickly becoming my favorite cookie.
Sugared Plum Pudding with vanilla whipped cream: plums being entirely out of season, I substituted some roasted peaches that I'd frozen this past summer.
Cinnamon Vanilla Pecans: addictive.
Peppermint Fudge: seriously the easiest imaginable!
Bourbon Fudge: this was thanks to Luke, whose culinary endeavors often involve gratuitous alcohol, not that anyone's complaining . . . essentially the same fudge recipe, with less chocolate and 1/4 cup whiskey stirred in.

Weekend linkage

Helping (?) with Christmas dinner at my parents' house

"Hold on a minute. I'm trying to figure out how to turn that into a compliment."
-Jared

"You're very convenient to have around."
-Jared

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Pregnancy happenings: I have begun to feel quite . . . unwieldy. Last night we were at an event with lots of people packed into a room, and I discovered that it's difficult to maneuver myself and Tadpole through a crowd! The kicking has also become much stronger. Though not at all uncomfortable, it certainly gets my attention. :)

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Get your cruciferous veggies: roasted brussels sprouts are tremendously good. (Add a smidge of sriracha to the leftovers.)

The reviews on this banana slicer are awesome.

#britishpeopleproblems

Joey Newton, a pastor in Newtown, CT, writes about evil and the purposes of God. “The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us.”

God rest us merry

The Angel Appearing to the Shepherds by Thomas Cole

"God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" is one of my family's favorite Christmas carols. It is great for harmonization and has a rollicking chorus that comes around frequently. (This is helpful when you can't remember the lyrics to each individual verse . . . you can always chime in with tidings of comfort and joy every four lines!)

This year, however, a particular verse jumped out at us as we sang it during Christmas devotions.

In Bethlehem, in Israel, this blessed Babe was born,
And laid within a manger upon this blessed morn;
The which His mother Mary did nothing take in scorn,
Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

Everyone's immediate comment: "Wait a minute. The witch, his mother Mary?!!"

Between that and reading Luke 2:16 as "Joseph and Mary and the baby lying in a manger" (how did they all fit?) we had some good laughs on Christmas morning.

And good food. I'll post about that later. :)

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

"But there will be no gloom for her who was in anguish. In the former time he brought into contempt the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the latter time he has made glorious the way of the sea, the land beyond the Jordan, Galilee of the nations.

{image credit: Lel4nd}

"The people who walked in darkness

have seen a great light;

those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness,

on them has light shone.

You have multiplied the nation;

you have increased its joy;

they rejoice before you

as with joy at the harvest,

as they are glad when they divide the spoil.

For the yoke of his burden,

and the staff for his shoulder,

the rod of his oppressor,

you have broken as on the day of Midian.

For every boot of the tramping warrior in battle tumult

and every garment rolled in blood

will be burned as fuel for the fire.

"For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given;

and the government shall be upon his shoulder,

and his name shall be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and of peace

there will be no end,

on the throne of David and over his kingdom,

to establish it and to uphold it

with justice and with righteousness

from this time forth and forevermore.

The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this."

-Isaiah 9

Merry Christmas, everyone.