12 October 2011

Well Written Wednesdays: holidays from the school of Christ

I wanted-- what did I want? I wanted the fine keen bow of a schooner cutting the waves with Davy and me-- just Davy and me and Flurry-- happy and loving and comradely on her decks. Well, there was nothing unChristian about that, as long as God was there, too, and as long as we were neglecting no service of love. But, though I wouldn't have admitted it, even to myself, I didn't want God aboard. He was too heavy. I wanted Him approving from a considerable distance. I didn't want to be thinking of Him. I wanted to be free . . . I wanted life itself, the colour and fire and loveliness of life. And Christ now and then, like a loved poem I could read when I wanted to.

I didn't want us to be swallowed up in God. I wanted holidays from the school of Christ. We should, somehow, be able to have [our old love] intact and follow the King of Glory. I didn't want to be a saint . . .

But for Davy, to live was Christ. She didn't want to be a saint, either; she was too humble even to think of such a thing. She simply wanted God.

-from A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken

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