31 December 2014

pregnant thoughts

Ellie is upstairs, playing with her favorite Christmas presents: an IKEA kitchen, plus "the works" to accompany it (food! pots! tea set!), and a huge collection of matchbox vehicles. I bet you didn't know that you can make Sportscar and Watermelon Stew. Well, you can if you're Ellie, especially when you're wearing an enormous purple tutu.

So here I am downstairs, sitting on my giant exercise ball in an attempt to get Jellybean to swivel in the right direction-- no sunny-side-up deliveries, please. She has a new movement pattern these days. Turn a few perfunctory somersaults around lunchtime, and then wiggle gleefully all night long. This does not bode well for my sleep after she's born.

Christmas is always good but I especially enjoy it while I'm pregnant. The physicality of the Incarnation hit me hard the year I was pregnant with Ellie, and once again this year, when I am even further along. I look down at my enormous belly and wonder how Mary ever made it to Bethlehem. I feel Jellybean's tiny body shove against my diaphragm and wonder how Jesus ever fit His divine glory into such a small package.

During our Christmas Eve service, I was overcome with emotion as I thought about what that holy child's arrival means for my own children: that because He became a baby, my babies have an eternal hope.

I have been reading through the book of Joshua in the mornings. I got bored halfway through and slacked off my Scripture reading for a while. I've read all this before, it's pretty much just a list of kings and territories, blah blah blah. Then I got my rear in gear and realized how much I was missing. Joshua seems perfectly tailored for this moment in my life. (Of course, that's what happens when you read God's word with faith. He speaks to you straight from the page! I know that, but putting it into practice is another matter.)
- "Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" . . . as I stare down labor and delivery, knowing I can do this, but not exactly leaping for joy at the thought.
- "I gave you a land on which you had not labored and cities that you had not built, and you dwell in them. You eat the fruit of vineyards and olive orchards that you did not plant" . . . a reminder of how generously God provides for his children, as I feel weak, tired, and fairly useless.
- "And the Lord gave them rest on every side just as he had sworn to their fathers. Not one of all their enemies had withstood them, for the Lord had given all their enemies into their hands. Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass" . . . wonderful words of peace, tied to the unfailing character of our God.
Almost done. This baby feels ready to hatch. I'll be 39 weeks on Saturday and I keep hoping that I will go early, as I did with Ellie. But I know that she'll come "in the fullness of time" :)

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