23 November 2011

Well [Spoken] Wednesdays: Dr Smith edition

In college, my friend Laura and I had a hobby that Laura dubbed "marginalia." We would write the odd, insightful, humorous, scandalous, wise and otherwise noteworthy sayings of our professors in the margins of our notes. (I am sure that many other Hillsdaleans did the same.) These comments usually had something to do with the topic of the class, but taken out of context ... well.

Here I present the marginalia of Dr. Stephen Smith, collected over the course of two semesters.

The Divine Comedy

"Is this an ecumenical council, or the Inferno?"
"God is Robin Hood."
"Has anyone ever felt mortal terror at the sight of a firefly?"
"This is the poetry of necessity, not of delight."
"Youtube . . . it shall lead us all!"
"Should we have an imagination liberation movement?"
"The dog did not eat your homework."
"If you don't believe in the existence of guardian angels, you will once you have kids."
"Death to the mole! Don't tell Saint Francis."
"Are we the age of styrofoam?"
"I love your ink!"
"God is a Texan."
"It's very easy to be a poet of death."
"No more about rushing down the aisle."
"Ah, my markers of power!"
"Beatrice . . . she's a little more than a Snickers bar."
"That's the Monty Python solution to it."
"Now we have TV. Who needs the stars?"
"Heavens of mercy on all sloppy thinkers."
"Big Bird is Satan."
"And I went . . . ALALALA!"
"Socrates isn't the supreme gadfly, God is!"
"Suffer the conjunction, we're in paradise."
"Does it end happily? It's a comedy!"

Renaissance Brit Lit

“This play is exploring the desire for pointy hats.”
“Work on your evil, honey.”
“Aren’t they going to dance around and get married like they always do?”
“Death is not famous for waiting for the right moment.”
“Feel free to be perplexed.”
“Skipping classes may be likened to skipping a day at work, which no one with sense considers prudent.”
“This is top-drawer villainy, guys.”
“My wife rejected this idea, but I’ll tell you anyway.”
“I heard a plooping!”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“There’s a whole subtext of death and demons in The Sound of Music! Aaahh!”
“I need to go to the house of holiness.”
“Let us exercise our allegorical noodles.”
“No academic graffiti!”
“It’s probably not very complimentary to call people pigmies."
“There’s a deep correspondence between pride and despair. Pride usually comes first.”
“Error is such a funny thing!”
“Pages flip easier in the mind.”
“It’s actually a terrible burden to be tremendously rich and powerful.”
“Ah, here you see the benefits of flexible spelling!”
“I would say that the wheels are coming off the cart, but in my case they’ve already come off.”
“Everybody is Shakespeare except Shakespeare. Poor guy!”
“You all should learn to juggle. At the very least, you’ll be able to entertain small children.”
“I know what you’re all thinking: has Dr. Smith lost his marbles?”

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